One of the key questions we ask people at Transpersonal Dynamics is: How do you sabotage your own success? What are your self-limiting fears and beliefs? These are key questions and in this and the next post I’ll be examining the ten most common fears that may be holding you back.

1. Fear of Failure

Are you afraid to fail? Are you afraid of what your friends, colleagues, critics may say if you fail? Is this what keeps you from doing what you really want to do? If so, ask yourself a simple question – how do you know you will fail? How do you know that you won’t in fact suceed?

And anyway, if you do fail, so what? What would be the cost of failing? Often it’s just time and perhaps a loss of face – another tip for you:

Reframe ‘Failure’ as feedback and look for the positive

Most people who are successful have failed at some stage in their lives. Look at the number of times Lincoln stood for office before being elected. Look at Anthony Robbins. Initially the enfant terrible of the personal development world, he  went bankrupt in his mid twenties before dusting himself down and becoming possibly the most successful inspirational speaker on the planet. Study the biographies of people like Joe Vitale, Richard Branson, Amitabh Bachchan, Pat O’Bryan, Oprah Winfrey and many others; you’ll find that in most cases, they suffered setbacks on the way.

Learn to reframe results you don’t want by looking for the positive in the experience. It’s an important skill as one of the key differences between successful and unsuccessful people is their ability of the successful to reframe negative situations.Do you consider undesirable results as failure, or as simply an outcome? Learn to do the latter and then try something else until you ultimately produce the result you are looking for.

2. Fear of Succeeding/It takes so much energy to succeed.

Are you worried about the price that you may have to pay for your success? What is your perception of that price? Are you afraid it may take too much effort?

Are you trying to find a short cut that makes it effortless, where success is guaranteed? If this is the case, then it’s not so much a fear as that you are not prepared to put in the effort required to ensure success.  Have you been seduced by those books, CDs and DvDs that suggest that you can lie on your couch, utter a few affirmations, believe in the ‘Law of Attraction’, and you believe that health, wealth and happiness will fall into your lap. There is nothing wrong with the Law of Attraction but still have to take direct action! The power of positive thinking does not guarantee success, otherwise everyone would win the lottery. You have to take action, even if it’s just buying a ticket.

3. Fear of Being Considered Greedy

Were you told when you were growing up that you should not be greedy or selfish, and that successful people are greedy. ‘Were you told that money is the root of all evil?’ That’s a misquote, by the way, the real quote is that ‘Love of money is the root of all evil’. Did you keep hearing phrases like, ‘money doesn’t grow on trees,’ and ‘What, do you think I’m made of money?’

Were you brought up to believe that the world has only a limited amount of resources, that there’s not enough to go round so you’re being selfish if you succeed.

John Kehoe (1992) summed it up when writing:

“Imprint these 4 prosperity beliefs into your unconscious mind:

1. It’s an abundant Universe
2. Life is Fun and rewarding
3. Staggering opportunities exist for me in every aspect of my life
4. Having lots of money is good. It is my responsibility to be successful. “

Money isn’t greedy or unspiritual, nor is earning and owning money; it’s what you do with it that matters. You can’t do good deeds and make a difference in the world without earning the money first. The negative aspect is greed, keeping it all for yourself, wanting money for money’s sake. Focus on he positive, on all the good you can do with the money you earn!

4. Life is tough

Remember this – you are wealthy right now! We all have riches, whether family, friends, place of worship, financial wealth, work, organisations we belong to etc. The thing is, only financial wealth pays the bills. Do you want to build your riches, including your financial wealth, or do you want to undermine yourself by believing you are unworthy to have money. It’s up to you! Yes you have to put the effort in, and the reward is commensurate with the effectiveness of the effort you put in.

Notice – I didn’t write that the ‘reward is commensurate with the effort you put in’, but with the ‘effectiveness of the effort.’ There’s a huge difference!

The distinction is simple – effectiveness means doing the right things (as opposed to efficiency which means doing things in the best way), so are you being effective? In other words, is everything you do aimed at living your dream? If the answer is ‘no!’, then life can appear to be tough with little reward.

And contrary to the way many people behave, genuine success never belittles someone else, is never jealous of someone else’s success. Instead, look at it this way – it’s proof that if they can succeed, so can you!

And as you suceed there will also be indirect benefits; you spend the fruits of your success, creating profit for others, contributing to the economy as those people in turn spend their greater profits and so on. You can also give to charities, or to causes that inspire you. And the weird thing is that as you give, you’ll find yourself getting more in return!

5. Is Your Mind Open or Closed?

Do you hold back from writing a book because ‘There are already so many books out there’? Do you find yourself saying ‘That won’t work for me because…’ or ‘It won’t work in the current economic climate’ or ‘That might work for most people, but I’m different/my situation is different’, and so on. Guess what – there may be many books out there, but nobody has written your book, telling it your way, recounting your experiences and insights.

A closed mind is another way of saying that ‘I’m right and the rest of the world is wrong!’ It actually becomes a self-reinforcing, vicious circle. The key here is that your perception is your reality, as we will see later. If you continue to believe your negative thoughts, then you are right, it won’t work for you; a closed mind closes down its options.

The next article will look at another of the 5 major fears that may undermine your success.