But I believe that it should also be a time for reflecting on what we have learned during the old year.

One of the things that have taught me, or reminded me of, important issues during the year has been Penny Power’s Book, Know Me, Like Me, Follow Me, available here.

And I thought it might be useful for those who have read it to pitch in what has been the most significant think they have taken from the book.

For me, it’s the story of Penny’s daughter’s (Hannah) experience in revising for some importnat exams.

During the Christmas holiday before the exams, Hannah dedicated herself to reading through all of the necessary books and condensing them into a series of documents as the basis for her revision.

When she got to school, she discovered that most of her friends had spent the holidays partying. She went home from school dispirited that she had sacrificed her holidays to ervfise whilst her friends had not.

After some thought, she emailed her revision plans to her friends. In response to Penny’s shock/surprise (which as a parent who has been through the trauma of 2 children’s revision dramas, I could readily identify with), Hannah’s words stuck in my mind for a long time “Mum, now we are all at the same place and tomorrow we can go forward together.”

Thank you Hannah. it was a great reminder for me!

For those who haven’t come across the model, it is usually drawn as a triangle with physiological needs at the base, and then, as we move up the triangle, we have levels that relate first to safety, then love and belonging, self esteem and finally self-actualization, which Maslow defined as become everything that one is capable of becoming.

And this is where I have a problem with the model. If we are to become everything that we are capable of becoming, surely this includes the motives expressed in the previous levels, or at least where they are relevant to each of us. (A hermit living in a cave in the Hymalayas will not have the same ‘lower level’ needs as someone living in the West, with a family to feed and working in the corporate world.)

For most of us, if our aim is become everything that we are capable of becoming, we need to include all aspects of our lives in an integrated whole and that is what Transpersonal Dynamics is about.

Such an approach  will miss out on the the personal growth we can each gain from the importance of the problems we have to deal with. No two people experience the same issues, so a universal recipe is not going to work.

Confusion and ambiguity are more of a reality for most of us that the so-called ‘clarity’ offered by generic approaches. And because humans are variable, an approach based upon standard results is unlikely to work.

We need to put in effort and energy, which each of us applies differently and each has to deal with different blockages.

Life is never as it ’should be’, it only ever is as it is, so it is unlikely to conform to a predictable pattern.

All of this makes things very difficult for the coach, facilitator or therapist. As Assagioli, the father of psychosynthesis used to say, “It’s not my fault if the universe is so complicated.”

The title of this blog is an adaptation of a quote from Martin Buber, who said that “Man becomes an I through a You”. I have never experienced any true growth that remains purely within me.

1.What is the greatest dream in your life?

2. What does true happiness in life mean to you?

3. What is the most valuable thing in your life that you cannot buy?

4. What are your 3 most important tips for enduring health?

5. What do you believe is the meaning of life?

6. If you knew that the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do today?

7. What are  the 3 biggest mistakes that you have made in your life?

8. What are the main lessons that you have learned form you answers to question 7?

9. Where do you find comfort during difficult times?

10. Who are the most important people in your life? what do you do to maintain and build your relationship with each one?

So, how do you find your true path, your life’s mission?

Ask yourself 3 questions:

1. What do you really enjoy doing?

2. What are you really good at?

3. If money were not an issue, what would you be doing?

Spend some time thinking about the answers to each of the questions; if you want a little more direction, ask each of them within the context of how can I best serve others?

Good luck!

Never buy in to the concept that you are too old to change; whilst change may take a little longer as we get older, because we are more set in our ways, if we want to change we can. recent research into the concept of neuroplasticity confirms that we are never too old to change.

One of the keys is to make sure that the pay-off, or benefit of the change outweighs your resistance to it.

As an example of how to change, take a look at Abraham Lincoln. He decided one day that he wanted to make some changes to his personality – so he sat down and drew up a list of the 15 character traits that he most admired in other people. He then rated himself against each of these traits and set aside a week for developing each trait in himself. He transformed himself and became the person he wanted to be.

How about you – are you the person you want to be? If not, only you can make the necessary changes… what are you waiting for?

If you’ve got ideas of sitting cross legged, chanting ‘om madhe padme om’ to the sound of Tibetan bells, that’s not what I mean (though there’s nothing wrong with doing that if that’s what rocks your boat!)

There doesn’t have to be any religious or spiritual reason to meditate. The thing is, meditation is the best way to learn will power, focus and mental discipline. Start with 5 minutes a day, once or twice a day and build it up from there. I will soon be releasing a free e-book full of techniques but for now, try the following:

Sit or lie relaxed, with your spine straight. Close your eyes and focus on the area just below your navel as you breathe in and out. Just focus on your breathing and the area below your navel. If any thoughts enter your head, just smile and let them go. No need to beat yourself up over the intruders… just acknowledge them, smile and let them go.

Once you can do that for 10 minutes, then change the routine slightly – spend 5 minutes focusing on the navel area and then 5 focusing on your heart. If you build this up gradually, without straining it, by the time you are doing this for 20 minutes per session, twice a day: a. you will have developed a lot more will power, focus and mental discipline and b. the e-book I mentioned earlier will be available with lots of different things you can try!

And for an extra benefit, try smiling as you meditate!

Ask yourself a question: what are the things you treasure most in your life? Take a little time to think and write the down. As a checklist, make sure you cover each of the following ten areas:

1. spiritual,
2. mental,
3. emotional,
4. physical,
5. personal growth,
6. work,
7. financial,
8. family,
9. relationships,
10. hobbies/relaxation.

True work-life balance means that you meet all of your needs in each of those areas. How did you score? Don’t think you have to get it allw ritten down at once; it took me several days to think through all of the areas.

Let me know how you get on – good luck!