Transpersonal Dynamics

At this time of year, and I apologise to readers who are not Christian, it’s easy to get caught up in the commercialism and materialism of Christmas.

But I try to remember to focus on Christ. and why he chose to come to earth. And I believe that the aspect I am going to write about in this post applies to all religions.

I believe that his primary purpose was to teach us about unconditional love and as such, the message is an important one for transpersonal psychology. Not love in a romantic sense, although most relationships would benefit from applying the lessons in the full. And certainly not lustful love. Rather, it points us away from lust for material posessions and sex and focuses on internal qualities, qualities that only we can develop in ourselves. I find the checklist in the new testament to be awe inspiring – just take a look:

Love is patient
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

My challenge to myself for 2010 is to develop and demonstrate this kind of love in myself.

As the year draws to an end, it’s common to focus on New Year’s Resolutions.

But I believe that it should also be a time for reflecting on what we have learned during the old year.

One of the things that have taught me, or reminded me of, important issues during the year has been Penny Power’s Book, Know Me, Like Me, Follow Me, available here.

And I thought it might be useful for those who have read it to pitch in what has been the most significant think they have taken from the book.

For me, it’s the story of Penny’s daughter’s (Hannah) experience in revising for some importnat exams.

During the Christmas holiday before the exams, Hannah dedicated herself to reading through all of the necessary books and condensing them into a series of documents as the basis for her revision.

When she got to school, she discovered that most of her friends had spent the holidays partying. She went home from school dispirited that she had sacrificed her holidays to ervfise whilst her friends had not.

After some thought, she emailed her revision plans to her friends. In response to Penny’s shock/surprise (which as a parent who has been through the trauma of 2 children’s revision dramas, I could readily identify with), Hannah’s words stuck in my mind for a long time “Mum, now we are all at the same place and tomorrow we can go forward together.”

Thank you Hannah. it was a great reminder for me!

Dave Ramsey, author of The Total Money Makeover wrote the following in Seth Godin’s free e-book ‘what-matters-now’ available here

“Malcolm Gladwell says it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an “Outlier.” He is, of course, right. My mother says practice makes perfect. She is, of course, right.

A billionaire friend once told me to read one of the best stories on successful living, The Tortoise and the Hare. He says, “Every time I read that book, the tortoise wins. Slow and steady wins the race.” He is, of course, right.

Whether it is branding or wealth building, I call it The Momentum Theorem.

FOCUSED INTENSITY over TIME multiplied by GOD equals Unstoppable Momentum.

Not many people in our A.D.D. culture can stay FOCUSED, but those who can are on their way to winning. Add to the focus some serious pull-your-shirt-off-andpaint- yourself-blue-at-the-football-game INTENSITY, and now you have a person who is a difference-maker.

But very few companies or people can maintain that FOCUSED INTENSITY over TIME. It takes time to be great, it takes time to create critical mass, it takes time to be an “overnight success.” Lastly, you and I are finite, while GOD is infinite. So, multiply your efforts through Him and watch the areas of your life move toward winning like never before.”

He is so right – we live in a fast-fix, quick buck, take the short cut society that has forgotten about “Focused Intensity’ as Dave calls it, or just plain effort and hard work. What I most like about Dave’s piece is that he includes the spiritual, making room for God in his equation.

Maslow’s hierachy of neeeds is a model that explains people’s needs and motivations and places them on 5 levels.

For those who haven’t come across the model, it is usually drawn as a triangle with physiological needs at the base, and then, as we move up the triangle, we have levels that relate first to safety, then love and belonging, self esteem and finally self-actualization, which Maslow defined as become everything that one is capable of becoming.

And this is where I have a problem with the model. If we are to become everything that we are capable of becoming, surely this includes the motives expressed in the previous levels, or at least where they are relevant to each of us. (A hermit living in a cave in the Hymalayas will not have the same ‘lower level’ needs as someone living in the West, with a family to feed and working in the corporate world.)

For most of us, if our aim is become everything that we are capable of becoming, we need to include all aspects of our lives in an integrated whole and that is what Transpersonal Dynamics is about.

… an approach to self-development that recognises that each of us is unique, with complex situations. In other words, it must reject the temptation to offer a universal recipe because:

Such an approach  will miss out on the the personal growth we can each gain from the importance of the problems we have to deal with. No two people experience the same issues, so a universal recipe is not going to work.

Confusion and ambiguity are more of a reality for most of us that the so-called ‘clarity’ offered by generic approaches. And because humans are variable, an approach based upon standard results is unlikely to work.

We need to put in effort and energy, which each of us applies differently and each has to deal with different blockages.

Life is never as it ’should be’, it only ever is as it is, so it is unlikely to conform to a predictable pattern.

All of this makes things very difficult for the coach, facilitator or therapist. As Assagioli, the father of psychosynthesis used to say, “It’s not my fault if the universe is so complicated.”

However you work on yourself, to bring about personal transformation, remember that no techniques has any value unless it helps us to improve the quality of our relationship with others. The flip side is also true; our relationships can be a catalyst for individual growth.

The title of this blog is an adaptation of a quote from Martin Buber, who said that “Man becomes an I through a You”. I have never experienced any true growth that remains purely within me.

I have several websites, all dealing with different aspects of my work. This has made things unfocused and there is no consistent brand image.

So, I’m about do undergo a complete rebranding exercise, working with Ces and Jay Loftus.

I love the way that they approach branding, hence my reason for choosing them. I’ve had to fill out a detailed questionnaire as a starting point which has made me think hard about a lot of issues.

A glimpse at the way they approach branding and brand image can be seen in an acronym they introduced me to:

Think about the acronym BRAND

Business – What is your product and service

Responsibility – What is your ethos and brand promise

Awareness – What are your competitors doing

Niche – Who is your target market

Dynamics – What shapes, colours and images naturally relate to your business

If you need any advice on branding, contact Ces and Jay or visit their website by clicking here

As a start to the week, if you want to challenge yourself and perhaps gain some insights, ask yourself the following

1.What is the greatest dream in your life?

2. What does true happiness in life mean to you?

3. What is the most valuable thing in your life that you cannot buy?

4. What are your 3 most important tips for enduring health?

5. What do you believe is the meaning of life?

6. If you knew that the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do today?

7. What are  the 3 biggest mistakes that you have made in your life?

8. What are the main lessons that you have learned form you answers to question 7?

9. Where do you find comfort during difficult times?

10. Who are the most important people in your life? what do you do to maintain and build your relationship with each one?

What caused me to join and then stay in ecademy, my favourite network, and to gradually move up the membership levels is very simple – the people!

For all of the theories about networking, Web 2.0 and now 3.0, ORS etc, it’s people that make or break a network; how open they are, are prepared to communicate and exchange ideas and so on.

And I’m glad I’m an ecademy member (except when I’m working on a tight deadline and am too easily distracted by spending ‘just 5 more minutes’ browsing the site!). Ecademy bridges the gap between purely social networks and those that are entirely focused on business, including the best elements of both.

I’ve met some great people, and some of their stories will be appearing in a book I’m currently writing. More of that anon, so stay tuned!

Have a great weekend

Nic